Okay the title got you here! The vast majority of us have been on the verge of opening that drawer, or wallet, or purse. Some of us will not blink an eye (think twice) and snoop on the regular; whether it is on their kids, (which I think is perfectly fine), or on their workmates, which is NOT COOL, or on their new love interest, which is, by my standards, a deal-breaker. And then there is snooping on your spouse because you think something is going on that should not be going on.

The topic was spawned via a comment that I posted on a Daily Fix posted by Clarissa26, titled Sharing Past Relationship Information. Here is an excerpt of my reply, which lead to this thread:

"Again, I have to chime in with - each couple is as unique as the two people who are in it. (I really should trademark that darned quote already!) That being said, there are no cut and dry rules to this "divulging the past white elephant in the room".

It is there, the past, we all have them. Our past and the way we were treated, the way we acted, and the way it ended all shape us for future romantic relationships.

I think that Larry is jumping the gun by thinking he has a right to know anything after a few months, aside from what he has been able to gather through your regular "getting to know you" banter that occurs when, (okay I'll say it) you are getting to know someone.

I agree with most of what Carissa26 says in her Number 1 fix, aside from the way in which she projects the issue, by calling it an argument. It not an argument, in fact, if it turns into an argument it'll probably turn into a deal-breaker. Because if two people who are intimate cannot agree to either compromise, agree, or disagree one of them is sure to become so jealous / curious that they will eventually start snooping.

Snooping is certainly a deal-breaker. If a partner can't take the fact that your past is yours and you either can share it or not, they have some serious issues that they need to work out before being involved in a reciprocating romantic relationship.

If you are in a LTR and find that you must resort to snooping in order to find out the truth; things are already WAAAAAY out of hand and you either have to work things out with a counselor or break things off; because your gut has been telling you that your partner is doing something that they should not be doing and by the time you snoop things are too far gone!" ~~end of excerpt~~

The original subject dealt with a couple who had been dating for a few months, and the question on the table was is it time to share past romance info. What if you are the open type and don't sweat telling your new beau all the sticky details of your past love affairs, but he won't give you any idea about who and or what he was with before you, and it drove you nuts, so nuts, that you decide that you have to start going through his underwear drawers or computer files.

When you are dating and your new guy or girl is a snoop it shows insecurities and they are not good partner material because they will never feel secure, ever! This is not painting with a broad brush. It is a realistic blanket statement. Snoops are not good partners in a romance!

If you have to snoop, if you are in a LTR, (long term relationship) any type lovers, married, etc., things are already way too far gone. Like I said in the excerpt, your gut knew way before you'd let yourself consciously do anything to actually realize it. And if you've gotta snoop things are messed up. That is, if you are not normally a snoop and then you start to mistrust and feel that you need proof of an affair somewhere. This is what I meant by, if you have to snoop things are already way too far-gone.

Did you ever have to resort to snooping? Or are you a snoop by nature? Do you snoop on your mate for no reason? Do they know? Let us know! We won't tell!

Lotsa Love
LL