After being in a LTR with someone you get to know how to push his or her buttons. In a minute you could say or do something that'd make your mate crawl the walls or break out in a fit.

A lot of couples spend a lot of time pushing each others buttons. They make each other mad on purpose because that is the way the have learned to deal with each other. Tit for tat relationships do not work. Just because you know what buttons to push, does not mean that you have the right to push them all of the time.

In fact, since you know what makes your mate flip out, you should be careful to not push those buttons. That is what shows that you care and love them.

What happens when both people calm down? When the button pushing stops? Where do they go then? What do they talk about? That is a common problem with a lot of couples, they spend so much time and energy reacting to having their buttons pushed that they don't know how to listen to what their mate is asking from them.

Is anyone familiar with what I am referring to? In group my people are working on listening and not button pushing. We found that out of 12 people, 6 couples, 10 of them were active button pushers and share that they are afraid of stopping the noise and what'd happen if there was no fighting.

We are working on listening skills and recognizing buttons and ways to avoid pushing them. We also are working on doing things as teams, activities that force the couple to work as a unit and to reply on one another in order for the job to be completed.

We seem to be having a lot of positive progress. They are learning to appreciate what they first found attractive about their partner in the first place.
Button pushing is a frustrated persons cry for help.
Are you that person. Is your mate?
Lets talk about it!

Lotsa Lv
LL