It seems that the risk you describe stems from sex. What if we didn't "put ourselves out there sexually"? It is our choice at the end of the day, isn't it? If we lose a guy only because we don't put out, I don't know if you want to take the risk of being in a relationship with that person.

I agree about honesty being a corner stone of relationships.

Yes Sandy, sex is a big part of it, but not all of it. For example, it was much less likely for a woman to live on her own in the past. (A justification for the salary gap we still live with today.) Women were more likely to date and marry people from their community where everyone knows the history of the male. Now, we marry virtual strangers all of the time with absolutely no ties to us what-so-ever. Even if a woman doesn't consent to have sex, there's less likely to be someone around when she's on a date, leaving the incidences of date rape much higher with no daddy and no baseball bat rendering justice.
(Sure she can go to the police, but do you have any idea what a mess that can be and how a woman's life is tied up while waiting for the process? How likely it is that she could go through all of that for the guy to charm the jury just like he charmed her in the first place or for there not to be enough evidence for the process to proceed?)

Simple answers are great. Unfortunately, our world is complex. Ferreting out dishonesty from truth is one of the hardest tasks we have. If you find a truly honest person, keep him.

I think that the adults are in for a shock. Sure, it has always been that way. Our parents thought we were too fast, their parents thought they were and so on, but today, in tweens and teens sex has become so commonplace that it is a non-issue. Girls pressure other girls to have sex to be cool. It is not that guys don't want it, but girls are lining up to give it away. No lies needed.

Men take risks too. Women have less immediate family and have maternal needs. There are some that hear nothing but their internal clocks ticking. They will do just about anything to get pregnant. She will say, sure I took my pill, or here use this condom, not telling him that she put a pinhole in it. Then where does that leave the man. He is attached to her for 18 years.

For a thousand bucks a genetic test, and a judge, makes him pay for her desire to have someone to care for for nearly two decades when all he wanted, and told her so, was a roll in the sheets.

There are two sides to the sex coin!

RicoDad

Three things and a couple questions Rico,

First a question-- Why do you think women have less immediate family?

1. Tween sex is still a shock. Most tweens don't. Those that do are often victime of abuse. Its not normal and usually far from healthy.

2. Bring your own condoms. Men have always known that if they get someone pregnant, they're stuck. The only difference is you can't lie about it anymore. Of course, you may be forced to pay child support (rarely a true share of the cost), but unlike in the old days, nobody is going to make you get married or raise a child which leads to my other question-- Since men can get it anywhere, why lie to someone to get it if that's all you really want?

3. Finally, I can't remember any of my adult dating relationships lasting more than three months without sex. It gets to a point that you realize that if you don't start putting out, you might as well start knitting cat cozies.

These points wouldn't even have been issues 50 years ago. Please keep them in mind next time one of your single friends talk about dates coming across easy. Maybe she's just trying to fit in.

Hey Ya'll.
Most tweens do. Maybe not intercourse but oral is happening just as much as making-out! Ever since Bill Clinton announced that oral was not really sex, the numbers have kept rising!

Women have less immediate family because they are moving away for careers, or their mate, or in search of fame, etc. We spread out much more nowadays.
So, we search for ways to find family. I get what Rico is driving at.
I work with plenty of 30-something women who are worried about not finding the right man and not having kids.

BUT - back to the initial point. I think it very, very easy for a man to be able to tell a woman that he does not want a commitment and still wants some no-strings-attached sex, and he will get it. Many women are wanting sex, and are willing to have it with someone that they would not consider for a long term commitment.

So, yes, guys, don't lie. If you just wanna have sex, man up and say it. She may be relieved to know that she won't have to break your heart when she tells you to get out after the hip-pumping stops.
xo
LL

I think it's important to remember that while tween sex does happen, they are not all or mostly doing it, even oral sex. My sons friends rarely even talk to their girlfriends and a kiss is a major milestone. The reason it makes the news is because they aren't all doing it. This is the problem with our culture. The media exaggerates anything to do with sex and normal people assume that everyone is doing whatever they hear about. This leads to peer pressure for kids and adults where many people end up doing things they ordinarily wouldn't. Lets hope we can all do better.