Valentine's Day is a marketing ploy. Love should be expressed as often as possible. If you really need a calendar date, once a year, to wait to express how deeply you love your mate, you've got problems.

When money is tight I tell my people to write their feelings down. Do you really need some stranger who knows neither you or your love to write about emotions? It takes some people an hour to pick out "the perfect" Valentine's Day card. I promise that an hour spent honing a poem, some pros, lyrics, or just lines of lovely little words that remind you of your love will be so much more appreciated that any 4 dollar card, no matter how big, or if you buy a balloon or not. REALLY!

If a woman feels to give her love some special attention she should: card, poem, massage, bath, special meal. Men should do the same. Should it happen on Valentine's Day? Well, if it only happens on Valentine's Day it comes across as insincere. Do it once in a while, and then work on making it more than that. But once a year is sad.

xo
LL

We can give gifts any time of the year, but Christmas makes it seem a little more special.

We can have a costume party any old time of the year, but it's a little more fun on Halloween.

We can have gigantic dinners any night of the year, but it's a little more appetizing on Thanksgiving.

We can tell people that we love we love them everyday (and we should), yet to have a day set aside to celebrate that love with the world at large makes it seem just a little more fun and special.

It may have become a holiday pushed by merchandising manufacturers, but it's still a day to celebrate, enjoy, and recognize. Besides that, it's a day that you have an excuse to take the day off of work or plan a weekend trip or what have you.

I agree there are issues if you only express love on one day of the year, but there is also a problem if you don't try to make Valentine's Day feel as special as possible.

I can't say I agree with writtenin1981 since what he expresses is the fact that we are programmed to expect special things on the aforementioned days, so of course we think that they are a little more special. They are our traditions as Americans. We really don't have an American culture, like lets say the Chinese or the Mexican people do. ---Thousands of years of traditions passed down from father to son and mother to daughter. No, we Americans pass down merchandizing ideologies to our kids. Showing them that it is okay to write lists and expect them to magically come true; even if we set-up a nativity in our homes.
What I mean is that we are mishmashing religious holidays with pagan celebrations and making a some sort of American Tradition to pass down from generation to generation. Each year we see more marketing done for Halloween and Christmas commercials show-up before Thanksgiving!

My wife and I wish each other Happy Valentine's Day. We write each other sweet thought of how we care deeply for each other but the obligatory flowers and candy never cross our threshold as they are already in a vase on the mantel and in a candy dish. I bring my wife flowers and sweets all the time. She buys me new ties and sweaters when she goes to the mall. We gift each other on the regular.

I get what each of the other the two people are saying. I guess I am stuck on the fence because I dip a toe in the Valentine's Day pool but would never ever dive in head first.

That's that --
RicoDad

So what you guys are saying is that if say Christmas rolled around and you got nothing from your loved ones, or Valentine's came and went without anyone even giving you a card that you would be OK with it because "eh they're just regular days drummed up to be something special for marketing purposes"?

I find that very hard to believe, and if it is true then I find it very disheartening.

I don't think that's what the thrust of the comments are, other than yours. I think that what I am trying to get across is that we can express love on any day. Imagine that you just moved here from Europe or South America, or Japan and all of a sudden you hear that you must buy candy and flowers on February 14th. Why? What the heck? Por que? Because it is an American tradition or holiday, that's why!

Do the flowers mean more on Valentines Day? Nope, I think they are slighted by the "must" of the day. Sure, they are pretty, but they'd be even more special on any old day. Same goes for Christmas gifts / cards.
They are appreciated but would be even more special if given without the provocation of commercial and social pressures.
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Back to the original question: I do not think that anyone should feel obligated to spend as much as their partner, or their neighbor. But that is how societal pressure works. Keep up with the Joneses. Don't be out shined, etc.

I was once sent on a treasure hunt for Valentines Day. A guy I was dating sent me to nice restaurants and jewelry stores and left me notes and directions to follow. It took me two and a half hours to pick up the notes and eat lunch and flowers, massage, and the necklace, all around center city. It was special for him. He thought it was SOOO romantic. I thought it was nice that he went through the trouble.

I did the whole day and was appreciative of his effort. I gave him a card and a bouquet of flowers. He frowned and was disappointed that I didn't go as nuts as he did. He didn't last too long after that. Romance should not be a competition. It needs to be a shared experience.

Lotsa Luv
LL

If people move here and are befuddled by traditions and holidays then it's called being normal LOL. It would be no different than someone going to Mexico and being freaked out at their Day of the Dead or maybe England's Guy Fawkes Day.

Valentine's Day isn't the only day you should show love, but it is a day that you need to make sure that you do it.

I agree that romance should not be a competition, but at the same time it shouldn't be one sided either. Not to pry or anything, but did you ever think that maybe he wasn't disappointed that you didn't go "as nuts" as he did, but perhaps he was disappointed because you got him a bouquet of flowers?

Even if he was the type of guy to enjoy getting flowers, I figure he was looking for a thoughtful present on V-Day. That's the main thing behind any gift no matter what day it is given is the thought that goes into it.

He loved the flowers but he said that he wanted to go on a treasure hunt too. He said he had never gotten flowers and had hinted at it a few times. He loved competing with me with lots of things. He liked to buy me expensive dinners and then expected me to buy expensive dinners. He liked going clubbing VIP and buying my and my friends bottles and bottles of bubbly and then wanted me to pay for his boys nights out. It didn't make sense, nor was it fun. Don't do something for someone because you expect payback in return. If things are going to be fifty-fifty, it should be discussed and agreed upon. But nobody likes a grown man who pouts!

And okay, yes, you should express your love on Valentine's Day, and mean it!!!

xoxo
LL

Yeah, that was his damage then. It was a good idea on his part, but it shouldn't have then been "OK now you try to top that." That's not the point of doing something special for anyone on any day.

OMG we finally agree written!
Valentine's Day is two days away. If you haven't already put some solid thought into what you plan to do for your mate, you are just not that into it. And if that is the case, is it worth going through the motions with the zeal of someone going to get a tooth extracted?

Or, is it better to et your loved-one know that you love them every day of the year and that you don't believe in following the tradition of buying stuff for your sweety on February 14th.

Does anyone else out there send their mom a Valentine's Day card and or flowers?

I still do. I send my sisters cards too. I save the flowers for my mommy and hubby.
I got a special delivery today and it is for my husband. The box is tiny and it is from a known jeweler. I am SOOOOO curious. I know he can't keep a secret, so he may spill the beans when he comes home this evening. I kind of want to wait for Valentine's Day so I can be surprised.

Would you want to know? Or is finding out asap just as important as what is in the package?


Lemme know!
Lotsa Luv
LL

I'm a sucker for surprises, and you know me I want to make Valentine's special so tell him to wait until at least tomorrow night to spring the surprise lol.

Happy Valentine's Day Letty