The Nightmare Date

I’ll start by saying that I am actually a fan of online dating sites.  I know people looking for a mate either love online dating services or love them.  Let’s face it, we are in the age of technology, and many people work long hours (those who are lucky enough to still be employed) and don’t have the time or desire to go to single mixers or join clubs or groups where they might find a potential love interest, so the internet works as a matchmaker.  There’s nothing wrong with searching for love via the internet.  I’ve used several of the online dating services.  I’ve had good experiences, and I’ve had bad experiences.  You just have to be smart.

What can go wrong with online dating is that you, the seeker of love, can be vulnerable to some deceitful folks out there.  I’m not talking about stalkers or rapists (though that is a huge concern, but not the subject of this specific post), I’m talking about those who might tell small “untruths” about themselves, including posting a picture that is not of them, or taken during college.

This happened to me once and I was furious.  I began emailing and chatting with a man who seemed to be too good to be true (and we all know what they say about things that seem too good to be true).  We chatted for approximately 3 weeks.  The picture he posted in his dating profile was very nice and this is the image I had of this person for at least 3 weeks.  Finally, I asked if he wanted to meet.  He said he was very nervous about meeting me because he was afraid I would turn out to be superficial.  That was a bit of a red flag, but I just assumed he was acutely nervous about meeting in person.  I told him that I liked our conversations, and as long as he didn’t post some else’s picture (I added jokingly), he had nothing to worry about.

Turns out, he had quite a great deal to worry about, because the picture he posted was over 15 years old!  He was much older, and extremely overweight.  Now, I don’t mean to sound superficial, but I had a picture of this person in my head, and I was notably (ok, I’m being a bit melodramatic here) appalled and he knew it.  I had dinner with him anyway, and I had to choke back tears of disappointment.  I then became angry at his deceit.  After dinner, I politely explained that I didn’t feel we had any chemistry, I wished him luck in his search, and then I got the heck out of dodge!

I suppose the moral or point of this tale is this:  if you post a picture online of yourself, please make sure it is a recent picture.  Be honest.  If you are responding to someone’s profile, don’t be afraid to ask him/her if the profile they posted is recent.  Enough said.