Stand by Your Man

The economy is making this a tough environment for marriages to survive, much less thrive.  It's critical for both partners to do their best to keep love and romance alive. 

A few years ago, I learned something about husbands (and men in general) that I did not know that has helped get us through the rough times.  Most responsible husbands see their role as their family's provider, and as a young wife, I was aware of that. I did not know, however, how critical that image can be to a man's self-esteem.  As I watched my husband build his career, I assumed that when bad things happened at work it affected him negatively because it was where he spent most of his time.  Working in bad conditions is painful for anyone.

A wise woman in my family, however, told me differently.  She said that men see work and their ability to earn as part of their expected identity in society. This made me look at things differently and I'm grateful for that piece of advice.

When my husband, like so many others, was laid off in the fall thanks to cutbacks, he had a hard time accepting that he would not find a comparable position right away.  Because of what I had learned, I stood by him, patient and accepting, as jobs openings with too many applicants did not pan out. I did my best to bring in extra money, clip coupons, make cutbacks, and be supportive and sympathetic to his plight.  I made sure that we still had time alone together, and blew off more and more of the meaningless things that bothered me (like that raised toilet seat).

It has not been an easy year for either of us but understanding a little bit of what makes men tick has helped a great deal.

Women, share: What truths have you learned about the nature of men that have helped your marriage?