Marriage Savers: A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

Today I'm writing in praise of my husband.  11 years into marriage, and 17 years after our courtship started, romance and the whole idea of "wooing" can be a distant memory.  For women, this is frustrating to say the least.

That's why I was pleasantly surprised this week when my husband offered to watch the kids and spend the next two evening indulging in mani-pedi and going to the salon to do my hair.  We have not had the budget for this kind of indulgence in a long time, but things are looking up.

What really surprised me, though, is the offer itself.  My kids can be a handful and given his working hours, Chris rarely gets them alone.  Not only that, but our lives are so crazy that just a kind and sweet offer like this is something we almost never have tiime for.

I have been working really hard to treat him better for several years now.  In the old days, I'd tell him what I thought.  For years, I didn't consider it nagging.  Then I listened to myself and had to admit it did sound like nagging.  But it had to be said, I rationalized.  A few more years later, I realized it was nagging and tried to stop. THAT took a few more years.

I'm not saying I never nag, but it's greatly reduced now.  I try to turn that blame, frustration and griping into support, encouragement, and compliments.  It isn't easy, but I'm suddenly seeing a difference in my man.  He's more patient with me, helps out more, and now this little kindness. 

It's almost like dating again.