Marriage Experiment: The Submitted Wife

Before I write this post, I want you to know that I'm a liberal and a feminist, as well as a woman who has long battled with whether or not I'm Christian. So when I talk about wifely submission, I know a little something about how this concept really sticks in the throat for women.

However, I tried it out at a point when my marriage was having problems due to some issues my husband was going through.  With all the other stress in our lives at the time, I could not bear another argument.

So I backed down, shut up, respected him, let me him make decisions (even bad ones), and voiced my opinion carefully and kindly. It took MONTHS, mind you; my will is very strong and the urge to control is a difficult one to quell. I was absolutely terrified that letting the chips fall where they may would ruin our family.

I'm pleased to report that doing so put an END to fighting, bickering, and disputes – to my utter surprise. The peace it has brought to my home and the contentment it has brought to my marriage was worth every moment.

As women, we have to be mindful that when our goal in marriage is an equal partnership, part of that equality is giving the other partner what he wants, rather than getting or giving our share of what we want.  If your husband craves respect, a leadership role, and to be in charge in your marriage, you can give him those things without losing your power.  Think about what you really want from your marriage.  If you want to be the leader, do you know why? Is it about control and getting what you want, or do you think your opinions are a better guide for family decisions?  If it’s the latter, is there a way to communicate your opinions without undermining your husband?

Look, I didn’t say this was easy.  Having a good marriage involves a lot of work and sacrifice that is not for everyone.  However, I’ve seen far too many controlling wives over the years and how it hurts or destroys a man’s ego.  I tried the control route and it does not work.  Ladies, what would you sacrifice to make your marriage work?

By the way, submitting to your husband does mean let him railroad you, destroy you, or disrespect you. In fact, I’ve discovered he’s far more likely to listen to you, pay heed to your suggestions, and even give the nod when you’re right and he’s wrong from time to time.