Making a better marriage: Date Night

This week I was posting one of my mom lists and was shocked to hear from a number of women that they have stopped "dating" their husbands because they cannot find a baby sitter. They sounded unconcerned, assuming they would pick up dating when the kids “got older”.

To all these wives I want to say: Stop!  It’s hard enough keeping a marriage alive and well over the long haul, but denying yourself special time alone with your spouse can really harm your relationship.  If you have newborn, that’s a different story, you’re excused – for now.  Even if you have small children, it’s time to find a way to get a sitter that fits your needs and spend some quality alone time with your spouse. 

From my experience, a date outside the home improves the way we interact with each other.  During the week, chores, responsibilities, and important info we need to share takes up so much of our time together.  You may talk a lot, but are you really communicating in a way that improves your relationship? For me and my husband, dating has gone a long way toward improving our tolerance of each other, catching up our hopes and dreams, and improving our sex life.  We plan to go out every week, which rarely happens, but because we plan so many dates, we get together at least twice a month. 

I know it’s a tough economy and you’re thinking, I can’t afford a sitter!  That’s true, but perhaps your neighbors, your friends, and your nearby relatives have the same problem.  Discuss with them forming a cooperative to swap babysitting duties.  If you have a friend in need of childcare that has the same number of kids, that works out well.  If not, be creative.  Host a sleep over for families on your block, and in return, ask participating parents to watch your children for one evening. Have long-distance family members visit with their kids for a week, and take turns going out.  Get a local teen to trade for some time on your Wii.  (Check with their parents first and make sure they are old enough to stay home alone.) 

If it’s been a while, it’s time to bring back date night and rekindle the romance in your marriage.

Challenge: Plan one simple, cheap date and get a sitter using one of the suggestions above. Share your tips here!