Married To A Workaholic

What to do when your partner's career seems to come before you and your family.

Having a partner who is a workaholic can be trying and constantly test your devotion and patience in your relationship. Although you do everything to please their every need, it seems your partner is more wrapped up in their job than making time to spend with you.

However, that's not a totally true statement – you and your efforts do not go un-noticed. Keep in mind a busy work schedule tends to run in spurts, depending on what line of business your partner is in and if it's their busy time of year. Although it may not appear that way, your partner would probably rather be at home with you than hard at work. But making money to support you and your family is stressful, and in this economy, they want to make sure they can continue providing for you all. The key is to stay strong, patient and maintain your forgiving nature – it will pay off in the end.

Learn to listen

Couples who want to be happy and successful in their relationship know firsthand the key factor is communication. Couples who tend to be the best communicators can recognize when an outside distraction is getting in the way of good communication skills. Happy couples talk, and more importantly they listen to what their partner has to say. Although it may not always be pleasant to hear what your partner is saying when it's not what you want to hear, it will make your relationship stronger and build a successful foundation for the future.

And remember, complaining is not the same as talking. Your partner knows you'd rather they be home more. Let them also know why, in a loving, understanding way. They may not be able to accommodate your requests right now, but they'll know that you love them and appreciate the sacrifice they're making for you.

Be supportive

Try your best to support your partner and their accomplishments. Ask questions about their job, learn about their daily responsibilities, and let them talk out their frustrations after a long, hard day at work. The more familiar you become with their daily challenges, the more you will learn and understand their concerns and frustrations.

If your husband works long hours and has a big commute on top of that, maybe you can meet for dinner at a restaurant near where he works. Yes, it will mean some extra driving for you, but you will be able to dine together (or with the kids) at a more reasonable hour and he will appreciate that you did some of the work to make "together time" happen.

Little things mean a lot

Do your best to make their home life as welcoming as possible. Remember, small gestures go a long way. Sneak a love note in their brief case or coat pocket before they leave for work. Try preparing their favorite meal after a long or lousy day. Surprise your partner with breakfast in bed or plan a night date, just for the two of you. Celebrate your time together. This will remind your partner just how much you love and support them.

Learn from hard, trying, or difficult times and arguments. As silly as it sounds, it may make your relationship stronger. When life gets frustrating or stressful, it is easy to lash out at your partner. Arguing can be healthy in a relationship, as long as it is productive. The key to maintaining a strong and healthy relationship is to work through hard times and personal disagreements and resolve your issues.

It can be frustrating when you feel ignored or neglected in your relationship, but stay strong — your relationship is well worth the effort. Start each day as new and let the past be just that, the past.